The Easy Way

Painting by Luke Chueh

I’m not sure why I’m writing about this just yet, sometimes I like to think of myself as Alejandro González Iñárritu[1]. As my write-as-I-discover seems more gratifying to me, I never know where some of my posts will take me. At times I have an idea before I sit in front of my monitor and listen to my favorite satellite radio station[2] (playing Belle & Sebastian’s Dirty Dream Number Two). Music is indeed my inspiration for all things that matter to me and all things that matter to me eventually will evolve in some soundtrack chosen by yours truly as I drive, jog, read… and yes work and sometimes waltzing off when the conversation just seems to go nowhere. But I digress; let me start on the subject on hand…

Though I myself I’m not a smoker, but at the same time I’m not oppose to other people blowing a cloud, today I find myself pondering this needy habit. I really don’t have a lot of friends and families jump starting one another’s boggys. I do have co-workers and acquainted personalities that would probably, if giving the time, become good amigos. To them and others I now will officially vouch for the book The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr. I know I know… if I don’t smoke… why have I chosen to commend so called self-help book? Like I said, I’m not sure yet. (Satellite radio playing Vampire Weekend’s A Punk)

As much as I find it sexy-cool to see someone with a ciggie in hand[3], especially if you're Mia Wallace, Kate Moss or Rita Hayworth[4], plus have the correct perfume that is well balanced for your skin type and can engage with your particular smoke and manage to light me up. Consequently hypnotizing me to reach out for a candle or matches, or go through the embarrassing trouble to ask the other mesmerized gent for his square to jump start yours… in spite of everything, I will wish that at the end of our conversation you’d rather not smoke, even if you have also figured out the correct chewing gum[5] to blend with your breath of death. Yes, your aura and stance beaming through the dark pub full of smog will guide me through your runway and at times will seem like a bumpy landing, but I have never been afraid of flying, therefore will encourage all to step away from your sabotaging comfort zone and read this book. This book allows you to keep smoking while reading and promises that you will stop once finished, not gain weight and you will not feel deprived.

I’m now realizing I have other intentions to promote this two-hundred-fifty-six page book (other then smoking is bad for you and that it could kill you). See; I have become addicted (going four years straight) to a local small cozy bar in South Beach. A bar in which some giant God surgically removed a heart from a London Pub and reincarnated a piece of New York’s East Village soul and have supplied it with the tunes as if it was selected from some music Goddess, add to its immune system fine beer selections from all worlds that are some way compatible with all who enter this heaven and you have yourself a true magnet for smokers[6]. Well, occasionally friends and Ms. Ξ will resist on going out to this bar due to the smoke and smell, as some are allergic, therefore making all of us end up at the same old trendy South Beach places[7]. So in my efforts to somehow convey all The Room[8] followers to stop smoking I have chosen to post this. I'm not really sure how it’s going to get to them, and if it does reach them, how will this effect these cloud puffing cool cats AND if by some miracle they do happen to quit, oh... will heaven ever be the same?

Editors - Smokers Outside the Hospital Doors

[1] Alejandro González Iñárritu does not have a fully set picture when starting to film. Director of Amores Perros (Love’s a Bitch), 21 Grams and Babel.

[2] Sirius’ Left of Center… can’t live with out it.

[3] Nothing sexier than to see someone in the correct cigarette stance. One of the main reasons that teenagers smoke… to look “cool”.

[4] Names have been changed to preserve identity.

[5] I personally prefer mints. The site of any fe[male] chewing gum is not atttractive.

[6] At times the magnet pulls some obscure objects, although heaven is a place for all. I at times want it all to myself!

[7] I refuse to name these trendy-purgatories (hopefully they will stay there) known as the “it” place to be and be seen… please.
[8] Going strong since 2003! Crowd has changed a bit, but still faithfull. Early weekdays or latenights are the best times to beat the crowd.

Inspired by Jake Fogelnest of Sirius Radio Left of Center. Good luck tomorrow on your first day on being cigarette free. I know you can do it!